When is the last time you said thank you? Was it a meaningful thank you with some detailed words, or just a passing comment? When was the last time you received a thanks? Do you know what you were being thanked for? So often ‘thanks’ is a word in a sentence, a passing comment. But in a world where bad news seems to dominate, perhaps the humble ‘thank you’ is our golden opportunity to generate some good news and positive vibes.
Yesterday I received a thank you letter from a client organisation, attached to an email. I don’t receive letters very often. The letter explained how my actions coaching with one of their managers had made a real difference. Reading the letter brought a tear to my eye – someone had gone to the trouble of typing me a letter and providing detail about how my coaching style had helped. This thank you was powerful; I felt valued, I was pleased to know how I had helped, and it makes me smile when I think about what a kind gesture it was.
This experience reminds me that we all have the opportunity to generate good news by valuing and appreciating the people around us. But how often do we give or receive a thank you that comes with something more? With some details about what we did/said that was appreciated.
Why does thanks matter?
Because knowing what it is we do that is appreciated can be very powerful. As colleagues, partners, parents, children, friends, family members, neighbours we all have countless interactions, and mostly we are trying to do our best. For humans being appreciated is important. No matter what age, gender preference, colour, religion we are, or what level of experience we have. We all need to feel valued and appreciated. Knowing that we each matter is important because:
- It generates positive energy, motivation and a sense of wellbeing.
- It makes us smile, makes us feel better about ourselves.
- It helps us know what we should keep doing.
- It encourages us to repeat the behaviours which are valued by others.
- There might not be another chance. So often we don’t tell people what we appreciate/value about them until they resign, leave the organisation or, they become very unwell.
- When we appreciate others, we are also reminding ourselves what we are grateful for.
So, as you rush off to buy a Christmas gift or Secret Santa stop! Consider when was the last time you actually said thank you to this person and explained what you appreciate about them. Genuine thanks and appreciation costs very little money, but it can make someone’s day. And in some cases, it can mean everything.
You have an opportunity now to think about the power of your thanks. Here are three steps:
- Who are you thankful to?
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- Colleagues who work alongside you and with you, to make progress and achieve things.
- Your whānau/family whose ongoing love and support we can take for granted.
- Friends who’re great company and are willing to tell you things you might not always want to hear.
- Customers & clients who use/buy your products and services so that you can make a living.
- People in the background who whose work quietly supports what you do and prevents the problems you are more often than not blissfully unaware of (voluntary organisations, IT, utilities)
- People who are always there in an unexpected crisis (Police, ambulance & medical services, neighbours, bystanders)
- What could I say in my thanks?
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- Consider what you value or appreciate about the person. Think about the details; the words they used, the actions they took, how they made you feel, sometimes it might be their silence, or the fact they are just there as a support.
- Here is a suggestion about how you might start: ‘Thanks I’ve really enjoyed collaborating with you this year. What I’ve really appreciated/valued is…….’ What has been helpful to me is……
- How should I share my thanks?
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- First consider the person; some like public praise, others certainly do not. If you’re not sure, do it privately.
- It could be a conversation, text, message, post, email, card, letter. The key point is to send your thanks in a way that you know will be both received and understood.
Thanks for reading – I appreciate you taking the time at this busy time of year.
Meri Kirihimete. Ngā mihi o te tau hou. Merry Christmas and greetings for the new year.